Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Indecision

Ah, indecisiveness. That stubborn personality trait that makes you unable to make a decision. Sometimes, even after you make a decision, you have regrets, doubts that linger in your head and scream out that you've made the wrong choice. To be blunt, indecisiveness may be my worst trait besides my impatience and my lack of confidence in some situations, because there are some decisions I have to make that I'm not so sure about when they're all said and done.

I've finished writing a story called Duet, which is about a boy discovering who he really is and falling in love with another boy (yes, a gay romance). Some of the scenes in the book might not be appropriate for the young adult genre (those scenes involve sex), and while writing them, I've constantly had to go back and forth to decide what to put down, what not to put down, what's okay to talk about, and what I should keep on the down-low so readers can imagine what's going on for themselves.

A lot of the conversations in my head went like this:


All right, so in this scene, Cam and Kyle are going to do...stuff. Let's try this word.

Yes, Luke. That's perfect! By not being specific in some scenes, you're taking away from what you want to talk about. That's why this works!

No, that doesn't work AT ALL. You're not an erotica author, so you can't make the sex as smutty as possible. CHANGE IT!!!!!

Um...what if  what I just said is too much? Maybe I should edit it.

Luke, it's perfectly fine! You have nothing to worry about. You're writing this the way you want to, so you shouldn't doubt yourself.

Yes, please edit it! What if people see this and question you for it? That would be awful! Make it as ambiguous as possible.

No, it's fine!

It's anything but fine. Change it!

No!

Yes!

NO!

YES!

NO!

YES x1000!

*grits teeth*


As you can imagine, the stress was quite real. As a result of trusting my confident side, I've included the words penis, erection, thrust, moan, push, mouth, stroke, grip, descend, lick, condom, and other assorted curse words in Duet.

....

I'm terribly sorry if this has turned any of you off from reading the book, but I'm not sorry that I've written it the way I have. My indecisiveness is a lot better when I'm writing, because I always feel as if I'm making the right choices when I reach a fork in the road. I can always reconsider things when I'm editing chapters later, but I usually stick with my gut on matters involving writing.

Other things are a different story. When I was younger, I would get all these ideas for Webkinz shows that I wanted to make. However, most of these weren't scripted, so I was basically drawing stuff out of a hat when I was filming with my brother. After some time passed, I would get bored, and all my desire to film went down the toilet. When it was time to continue the series, I would be indecisive and want to finish it, yet work on something else at the same time. I'd get so frustrated that I ended up pulling the plug on a lot of projects, which was never fun.

There was also indecisiveness on whether to start this blog. I was worried that I wouldn't have the dedication to continue it for very long, or maybe I'd end up giving up before I even started. The decision making process went like this:

I really want to start a blog, but I don't know if I should. What if I end up giving up on it?

You should go for it, Luke! You love to write, and now maybe more people will see your stuff!


Whoa, hold on. You need to reconsider this. What about everything that could get in the way of this? You have school, cross country in the fall, theater potentially then and in the spring, and other activities. Plus, what if  nobody sees it?

I'm not too worried about that. I'm gonna start a blog!

YAY!

Okay, fine.

Now this is the hard part. What should I write about? I could do book reviews, other kinds of reviews, or just my thoughts on life in general. Should I do all of them?

You should do everything! It might be tiring to write about the same things over and over again, and if you write about a variety of things, you can keep yourself and your readers interested.

I don't think so! Stick to one thing! What if you get distracted and end up not getting why you have so many things running at once? Writing about life is fine, doing book reviews is fine, but doing them together will be torture.

Don't listen to your negative side! Do everything!

No!

Yes!

NO!

YES!

NO!

YES!

NO x1000000!

Oh, for the love of everything made of peanut butter, SHUT UP!

My negative side might try and convince me doing things is a bad idea, but like I said before, my indecisiveness is much better when I have to make a writing decision. Thus, I decided to trust the positive part of me, and here's my blog *blows trumpet*.

What should you expect to find here on The Writings of Luke Reynolds? Well, a variety of things! There are gonna be posts like this one, ones where I ramble about life and my experiences (some happy, others might not be). Others will be reviews of books that I've read, albums I've listened to, movies, TV shows, or anime that I've watched, etc. A random post might pop up now and again that has nothing to do with the previous things I've mentioned (maybe I'm fanboying or doing some kind of comedy sketch), and that's totally fine. What I'm most excited about is sharing my thoughts, stories, passions, and other things with you guys.

So, without further ado, it's...

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